For a mere $150, you can have all the snake you can eat
You really can buy everything on Amazon. I could direct you to the gallons of straight pickle juice available on the site, but nothing proves me right more than an 8-foot long gummy snake, currently available on Amazon for $150. The candy, known as the “Party Python” isn't cheap, but it is eligible for those with Amazon Prime—so you could be up to your ears in gummy snake by this weekend if you feel the need.
The snake is advertised as “26 pounds of gummy goodness,” containing “over 450 servings.” While you don’t need to worry about finishing it all in one sitting (it apparently has over a 12 month shelf life), you should probably figure out where you’re going to store it before you order one. In the pantry? On the kitchen table? I think not.
Perhaps the best part of the Party Python are the Amazon reviews. “I was in need of both a pet and a deliciously sweet snack. This served both purposes nicely,” said one reviewer. “I've been using this for fishing bait for the past 6 months,” said another. The reviews get much, much more colorful, so if you’re in need of some gummy fan fiction I’d check them out.
Best of all, it appears that the gummy snake has been served instead of cake at a couple weddings. One Instagram photo of a bride and groom slicing into their gummy was captioned with the hashtag #partypython. Another Amazon reviewer said she served the snake at her “welcome to the jungle”-themed wedding. “I wore this wrapped around me…” said the reviewer. “Instead of cake we just layed this bad boy down on the table and served him up… Good times.”
If you want your own Party Python, act quickly—apparently there’s one 1 left left in stock.
However, if you can’t get your paws on the snake, don’t fret. Amazon’s giant gummy collection is actually surprisingly plentiful. You could go for classic gummy shapes: a giant gummy worm or bear; or instead spring for the more demure food-shaped gummies—there are burgers, hot dogs, pizza, and even an ear of corn.