Photo by Steve Proehl via Getty Images

How the big box store goes after the prepper demographic

Ryan Grim
March 09, 2018

Cape Town is out of water. Beetles are destroying Brazil's coffee crops. Georgia doesn't have peaches. Our poor planet is basically screaming, "You're killing me!" and its sickness is manifesting in unexpected ways. But hey, we can still drive to the store and buy food and go to work and clickity-clack on the keyboard all day, so we're not really in full-on disaster mode yet. At least, most of us aren't. There's always the preppers, who looked pretty silly years ago, but now... well, they still seem kinda weird with all their canned goods and jugs of water in their bunkers, but you can't say they're completely misguided given the state of things.

In a move inspired by prepper paranoia, Costco is now selling a line of gigantic doomsday meal kits, for when things get very shitty. The largest kit of the bunch costs $6,000 and has 36,000 servings of food, which can reportedly feed a family of four for a year.

Courtesy of Costco

The apocalypse chow, which Costco claims can last 25 years, includes freeze-dried corn and green beans, dehydrated apples, instant beans and lentils, and protein and dairy products. As Business Insider reports, a customer review on Costco's site says the massive packages weigh about 1,800 pounds.

Courtesy of Costco

If you're a prepper on the downlow and don't want the fact that you have 36,000 servings of food in a bunker to become a thing in the neighborhood, Costco has you covered. They deliver the kits in discreet unmarked packaging. This way, when the undead/Michigan Militia/hurricane has your town surrounded, your neighbors won't know about your stash of lentils in the basement. You'll be free to gorge on your bland bounty in peace and quiet. Happy prepping, weirdos!


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